ON MARRIAGE

 

By Bishop Theophilos of Campania

 

Translated and annotated from the original Greek

 

By

 

GEORGE DION. DRAGAS, PhD DD, Protopresbyter

 

 

Marriage as a divinely instituted Sacrament. Marriage is connected with the fact that God took one of the sides of Adam and shaped a woman in an ineffable way, and that, afterwards, the man and the woman are united by an appropriate blessing. It is called a Sacrament, because it is connected with the birth of children, which are brought up in the knowledge and worship of God, and because without this union there is no possibility for the propagation of the human race. Clement, the Alexandrian catechist, says that, “Since the Law is holy, then, Marriage is also holy.” Paul says, that “This Sacrament of Marriage is connected with Christ and the Church,” and “that what is born of flesh is flesh and what is born of the Spirit is spirit.” Not only in their birth, but also in their further growth the children are holy, because the word of the Lord, which pleases God and with which they are brought up, unites their soul with Him. It is fro this holy Marriage that Isaiah speaks when he says, “My elect will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children for a curse, because their seed is blessed by the Lord.”

     Marriage as Godgiven Blessing. Blessed is the Marriage that has been blessed by God and thereby one pair was made out a male and a female. Solomon says exactly this: “It is the Lord that unites a woman to a man.” And David says something similar: “The woman is like a vine which rises over the walls of your house and your sons are like newly planted olive trees around your table.” Marriage, then, is blessed by God, and it is not shameful, but honorable and modest, and the birth of children is a pure affair, even though there are heretics who regard it dishonorable, and who have been condemned for this by the Church.

     Marriage was also blessed by Christ in Cana with his presence and indeed, that was the beginning for regarding Marriage as a Sacrament. The purpose of Marriage, of course, is childbearing and child-upbringing in the knowledge and worship of the Lord. If this God-pleasing purpose is not there, but Marriage takes place for evil and the desires of the flesh, as in the case of animals, there is no use for the couple that behaves in this way and mistreats those who make it up.

     Marriage as a Spiritual Creation. We should not wonder about Marriage when we do not see what we expect to see. The definition of a Sacrament is basically the same: “there is the visible aspect and the mystery that is embedded in it.” St John Chrysostom says that Marriage is a Sacrament and a type of a great reality. St. Paul, who links Marriage with the Sacrament of the Christ and the Church has in mind that Christ is the Bridegroom of the Church and the Bride of Christ. As Christ begets children in a spiritual manner, so also a man and a woman, give birth to children in a spiritual, and not only bodily, manner, by raising their children in Godly piety towards the Lord. Thus they give birth with true faith and virginal protection.

     Fortunate and blessed is the couple that gives birth to children “in the Lord” and gets to see children of their children that are raised in a godly manner and appear to be the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Many such parents are saved by this child-bearing “in Christ.”

     Marriage as Means of Glorifica tion. The crowns which are placed on the heads of the couple that are blessed in marriage, indicate that they were not deceived by the devil and the vanities of the present world, but remained unharmed (virginal), victors both of the world and of the leader of this world, and this is why they now come to be united in the Sacrament of Christ. “Man is the crown of the woman, and Marriage is the crown of the man, and the children are the flowers of Marriage for both. The glory of the children is in their fathers and the crown of the whole Church is Christ.” As the Church, which consists of the souls of the believers, has Christ as its Head, and submits to Him, so the woman submits to her man, because this is instituted by the Lord when He said, “and he will lord over you,” i.e. he will be your lord and authority. It is for this reason that Paul calls man glory of God, because he has authority over the woman, who, in turn, has authority over all else, just as God is called God of gods and Lord of lords. Man, however, has to love his woman, as Christ loved the Church and suffered so much for her.

     Marriage as a unique Bond – The case of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th Marriage. Since Christ is the Bridegroom of his Bride, the Church, Gregory the Theologian draws the conclusion that, “as Christ is one and the Church is one, and there are not two Christs and two Churches, likewise to every man there is one woman and to every woman, one man, and this is what constitutes the Sacrament of Marriage.” The same Gregory also says, “The first Marriage is the Law of the Church. The second is forgiven. The third is a trespass. The fourth is beastly and unacceptable.” Our Church yields to third Marriage out of sheer condescension and forced, so to speak, by the many irregularities that occur in modern life, but she never condescends to a fourth marriage. The case of the condemnation by a Synod at the time of the Byzantine emperor Constantine Porphyrogennetos of those who believed that a fourth marriage is allowed is typical of the Church’s attitude. Pope Clement too, considers the fourth Marriage, after the third book of the Apostolic Constitutions as equivalent to fornication and, therefore, condemns those who do it.

     Basil the Great orders penance for those who marry for the second or the third time: the former are to abstain from communicating in the Holy Eucharist for two years and the latter, for three or four years. The Tome of Union says similar things for those marrying for the second and third times, and for the children they might have from their previous marriage/s. Whenever these rules are not applied, however, on account of a condescension to the needs of circumstances, the Hierarchs and the spiritual masters ought to explain the meaning of the rules, so that those who marry for the second or third time might come to full realization of their mistake and never shed the fear of God and of the Church from their conscience. [Today the Church does not apply these rules in all cases, but follows the principle of economy according to circumstances.

     Marriage and Divorce.  Woe to the man or the woman who break their marriage without a cause that is recognized by the Church, because as Scripture says, “whom God has joined together let man not separate.” When a couple breaks their bond, this is lawful only when it is done by the Church. In the Gospel Christ says clearly, that whoever separates his wife, except on account of fornication [or the cases specified by the Church], and takes another wife, then he becomes a fornicator himself. This means that he will not enter into the Kingdom of heaven, because, as Scripture says, “fornicators and adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.” It would have been preferable for the man, who separates his spouse unjustly, to run from marriage to the grave, so that his separation might be counted to his death and not to him.

     Impermissible Marriage. In the ancient Church marriage between Christians and heretics were impermissible. Canon 72 of the Fifth-Sixth Ecumenical Synod (691) and Canon 10 of the Synod of Laodicea state this explicitly and even stipulate that such marriages should be dissolved. In the case, however, of a married heretic that was converted to orthodoxy the demand for dissolving the marital bond was not made, according to the teaching of St. Paul. Finally, Canon 31 of the Synod of Carthage specifies that the believers should not give their children to marrying heretics, unless the latter convert to the Christian faith. [Today the Church regards impermissible the marriages between Orthodox Christians and people of other religions, but she allows marriages between Orthodox and heterodox Christians under certain presuppositions.]

     Marriage and the Other Sacraments.  As those who received other Sacraments, e.g. Baptism, Repentance and Confession, etc., they received these first and then communicated in the Body and Blood of Christ, so in the case of Marriage the recipients of this Sacrament used to go to Confession first and then attend the Liturgy and communicate in the Eucharistic Gifts. Unfortunately, however, due to historical exigencies, this tradition was changed and today the newly wedded couples communicate of a common cup, although the communion hymn is sung according to the ancient custom: “I will take the cup of salvation and I will call upon the name of the Lord.” It would have been much better if the spouses went first to Confession, then to the Crowning service and finally to Communion. In this case their marriage would be united with the Lord of Glory in a more direct way and they would enjoy peace, long-life, health and happy life as every demonic operation would be totally averted. [Today when it is the later practice that is followed in the Marriage Service, it is important that the newly wedded should be encouraged to prepare for and proceed to Holy Communion the sooner they can after the blessing of their wedding.]

      When Marriages Cannot take Place. According to Canon 51 of Laodicea Marriages are not allowed during the period of Great Lent. This is due to the fact that this is a period of continence, fasting and prayer and no festivities are allowed. It is a period of contents against passions, and evil-mindedness, a period of purification from sin and of abstention from dances, singings festivals and drinking, as well as so many other festive customs that take place in marriages. The same applies for the fast of August. There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, whenever there is a special need, but this is determined by the Hierarch, who is pastorally responsible for applying “economy” (dispensation or lenience) in the way the Sacraments are dispensed. In these cases too, no festive events are observed and the crowning is done in a modest way.

      Which Marriages Cannot be done.  As regards the Marriages that cannot be done, we ought first to note that the Church does not encourage Marriages between people who display a great variance in age. This is because such marriages are unnatural and full of problems. As the ancients Greeks had put it, “To a woman an elderly man is a case of hostility.” Also characteristic of this is the case of Sophocles who was advanced in age and yet married the youthful Archippe and so was exposed to the ridiculing comments “that Archippe was like an owl sitting on a grave!” The Church prohibits marriages between relatives, and this goes back to the Book of Leviticus, but is also the tradition of the ancient Greeks and many peoples.

     St. Basil the Great explicitly says that “marriages that mix relatives of blood or affinity or second and even third degree, or of god-parenthood from baptism, should be avoided. Canon 53 of the Fifth-Sixth Synod of Trullo (691) says, that “the children born from illicit marriages are illegitimate and do not inherit the holdings of their begetters.” Details concerning illegitimate marriages were explained by Armenopoulos (14th c.), the Canonist, in his book on Marriages called Exabiblos and by Alexios Spanos in his book on lawful matches or Synoikesia (1772). [The impediment from affinity of third degree has been slowly abandoned due to modern political developments, e.g. the publication of the civil code in Greece, or other civil laws in various countries where the Orthodox populations live. For this reason, the local Synods/Metropolitans are often bound to use “oikonomia” (concession) and not the “akribeia” (precision) of the Church’s canon law.

     Epilogue. The most important point in all that was said above concerning marriage is that of love. Man especially is obliged to love his wife as his self. Both spouses, however, need to have a common mind and to act with mutual consent, concerning children or any other matter and especially to engage together in fasting and prayer. The couple that prays together is truly blessed because they reveal the “house church” to their children, their relatives and their friends. Thus marriage remains of “good repute and the bed undefiled”, as tradition has it, and the couple moves onto the kingdom of heaven unimpeded.